So……What’s “Boy Bye!” All About Anyway?

It’s sincerely about beautiful women finding their way back. Finding our way back from what? Finding our way back to what? Finding our way back from insecurity that has refused our eyes the honor of seeing our true beauty. Finding our way back from low self-esteem that's denied us privy to fully understanding how special we truly are. Finding our way back from giving others a pass to treat us in a manner that is inferior. Finding our way back from hurt, pain, and disappointment. Finding our way back from being knocked down for the count thanks to a blow, ironically named, “Love”. Finding our way back from seeking outside approval and validation. Finding our way back to being the “Hot Girls” we were born to be! Finding our way back from feeling and behaving as if we’re powerless. Finding our way back from “Timid Lane”, “Weak Street”, “Toleration Court”, and “Low Self-Esteem Having Boulevard”. Finding our way back to strength, grace, confidence, power, sexy, and fearlessness. Finding our way back to loving, adoring, and appreciating ourselves despite our relationship status; professional status; economic status; popularity status; and educational status. Finding our way back to self respect and letting people know with our actions that “…..what you not gone do” (shot out to Tammy from Basketball Wives) is disrespect me! Boy Bye! is about snatching the power we’ve been graced with back and refusing to turn it; hand it; or flip it over.


Boy Bye!

Beautiful women………..finding their way back.

Are You Valid............Yet???

You’re beautiful—so beautiful that foundation, gloss, shadow, and mascara are honored to grace your face and to just be in your mere presence. You’ve managed to delay the signs of aging by keeping yourself fit and healthy. You’re graceful, loving, caring, unique, sassy, intelligent, and so many more wonderful things! Your family adores you and swears that you are the hottest ticket in town! They brag about you tirelessly to family friends, coworkers, neighbors, and to just about anyone who has met the misfortune of being FORCED to listen to your cheerleaders rant and rave about your greatness! Your friends admire you—your strength, your sense of humor, your fashion sense, your loyalty, your dedication, and your ability to make it happen. Your coworkers secretly envy your professional swagger, how gutsy you are, and your “go getter” mentality.

You’re a “hot girl” a “dime plus ninety-nine” a “five star chick” in the eyes and minds of just about everyone around you! There’s just one problem! YOU don’t see it that way. YOU fail to see the beauty that is ALL you. And why is that?? I’ll tell you why...... because some gentleman has yet to cosign on YOUR validation ticket. And as a result, YOU’VE deemed yourself not valid; not worthy; less than. And you are not alone. So many of us—beautiful, intelligent, perfect package women—-have fallen into the trap. The trap of not appreciating ourselves nearly enough; the trap of feeling like we are less than because we’re not “bunned” up; the trap of feeling like we can’t be our best selves; our most beautiful selves unless someone agrees to be involved with or marries us. Chile please (preceded by teeth sucking)! If you’re truly a “hot girl” (which you are) then you’re going to be a “hot girl’ REGARDLESS of who John Hancock’s (cosigns) your validation ticket or not! Your mere existence is more than validation that you are “THAT GIRL”.

So with all that said……enjoy this season! Enjoy your time! Enjoy being you—beyond validated you!

Is It Time To Blow The Whistle?

So......here's the scenario: you've been involved with your guy for quite some time now. Things are miles from "peachy". As a matter of fact, since day one, things regarding your "involvement" couldn't have ever, possibly been described as "peachy", even on a grading curve. Despite the lack of peaches AND cream in your peaches and cream oatmeal relationship, you still made a conscious decision to be a factor in the equation. You still made a conscious decision to allow him to treat you in a manner, for lack of a better word, that sucked! He lied constantly but you stayed with him. He stayed in the streets nightly, despite your ineffective protests, but you stayed with him. He showed you very little, if any, attention, affection, and adoration, despite your begging and pleading for, but yet in still....you stayed. The list of his countless offenses can go on and on. But I'm sure you're catching my drift because we've ALL been at this point. At the point where we know we deserve better but we're too afraid to make one step towards "better". You've adopted the philosophy that having a man who treats me in a lousy manner is better than having no man at all. And as a result, we settle. We settle for sub par treatment even though we know we deserve the royal treatment. The bad news is this: you've allowed somone to treat you like a doormat for far too long. The best news is this: you have the power to snatch your power back at this very second; you have the power to blow the whistle and declare "game over" ("game over" homeboy; you just loss).

So....if you find yourself in the season of needing to snatch back your power; needing to show someone with your actions that you are nobody's doormat, then get snatching! Dare to snatch back your power! Dare to believe that you deserve to be treated with the utmost respect! Dare to set some new standards! Dare to believe that there exists a true gentleman who is willing to truly love and adore you! Dare to be fearless, fine, and fabulous! Dare to say, "Boy Bye! It's my time now"!

Who You Calling A Gold Digger?

In recent conversations with friends, the age old term "gold digger" presented itself. We were discussing the ladies of the TV reality show, Basketball Wives. A male friend--a very vocal and opinionated friend at that--said, in a passionate as well as disgusted manner, that "all those chicks are some gold diggers". Two other female friends cosigned for him on this standpoint.  I, however, couldn't agree nor disagree.  Are these women really "gold diggers"or just women who have preferences and who know what they want? Now I have to pose the question: Does wanting to be with someone who can provide for you in a manner that you prefer make a woman a "gold digger"? I recall my father telling me on numerous ocassions, "you have to pick a man with a job; a man who can provide for his family; you don't need a hobo".  I personally would like to be involved with a man who has a nice sized bank account, who can wine and dine me, who will generously share funds when mine are low, who can take me on all expenses paid trips (as opposed to I pay my half and he pays his half), who, if I decide to throw up the deuces at my job and be a stay at home chick, can afford that.  These are my PREFERENCES (not deal breakers--I understand times are tough now economically for many but PREFERENCES). So......now I'm wondering, based on the definitions provided for what a "gold digger" is (someone who digs for gold; someone who is only with somebody for what they have or what they can do for them, etc.) would I be considered a gold digger on some level? Could we all be considered "gold diggers" on some level? Are we all not with people for what they can do to enhance our lives emotionally, spiritually, and FINANCIALLY? Let's be honest here. Don't or wouldn't we all enjoy the perks of not having to hustle and bustle to rob Paul in order to pay John?

I'd love to hear from you all--your definition of a "gold digger" and your standpoint on the issue. Happy Blogging!