As I listen to King B's (that would be Beyonce) song The Best Thing I Never Had,I can't help but feel a sincere appreciation for the "sassy", "pick yourself up; dust yourself off", "one clown doesn't stop the show", "I love me more" post break up anthem of the summer! How many of us can make claims to owning the sentiments that the song's feisty one and two liners induce? Lines like "It sucks to be you right now”. Don't we all, at least temporarily, want life without us to suck for those who didn't "keep it one hundred" with us? And while we are secretly wishing a sucky life for those who shall remain nameless, we have to be mindful that most of our energy MUST be devoted into making sure life doesn’t suck for us post break up. Don’t forget to: live, laugh, travel, get together with friends and family, try new things, make your own fun, and most importantly maintain your “hot girl” status.
Then there’s, "I use to want you so bad; I'm so through with that". Haven't we all wanted some person or another so badly, that in our silliness, we thought life couldn't go on without them? Only to learn that life most certainly goes on without them--and not only will life go on but if we allow it to it will proceed in a more peaceful and joyful manner than we ever thought possible. The key is allowing life to do so (keeping what's worth keeping and blowing the rest away with a breath of kindness).
My most favorite line in B's sassy new tune is "thank God I found the good in goodbye". Although goodbyes can be tear jerking and stomach turning, we have to force ourselves to see the good in throwing up voluntary and at times involuntary deuces. The goods in goodbye may include but are not limited to: peace of mind, growth, gained experience, renewed confidence in oneself, learning that you’re stronger than you thought you were, increased opportunity to meet another gent who is more your speed, decreased hours filled with tears, stress, confusion, and over analyzing "don't make a bit of sense" behavior, and increased attention to devote to the more joyful things in life! With all that said…………………time to celebrate being the best thing he’ll never have!
Monday, June 27, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
I'm Not Hungry Enough To Eat Bison Droppings!
I went to Ted's Montana Grill with friends one delightful Friday evening. My tab consisted of 2 Huckleberry Margaritas, homemade chips and dip, and…………a BISON BURGER. Yes! I tried a Bison Burger in place of the standard Angus Burger. And to my delight, it was actually pretty good (bison burgers also claim to be much healthier for you than beef so I was a double jackpot winner that night). I ate a very light lunch on Friday knowing I'd be chowing down later that evening. And although I was daring, adventurous, and hungry enough to try something different; daring, adventurous, and hungry enough to devour a Bison Burger that night..........I hope I'm never hungry, desperate, or needy enough to consume Bison Droppings (and of course I don't mean literally)!
' Bison Droppings' , for the sake of this write up, will be used in reference to nonsense; foolishness; "that don't make one ounce of sense"; "something don't sound right", "I must look like a fool to you", gibberish that people will try to feed you and expect you to accept. 'Bison Droppings' include but are not limited to: lies, empty promises, disappearing acts without an ability to account for time, cheating, evasiveness, loving and enjoying your body but neglecting and refusing to appreciate your mind and your spirit, manipulating your emotions purely for personal entertainment and ego boosting, procrastinating on commitments, abuse (both physical and emotional), and taking you for granted.
You deserve to be fed better! We deserve to be fed better! We have to fearlessly and without apologies DEMAND to be fed with higher quality! Higher Quality Cuisine is loaded with honesty, respect, integrity, patience, balance, and love in practice--not just theory. We were not beautifully made and graciously deposited in the land of milk and honey to consume droppings that have fallen out of some creature’s you know what. So the next time you're brought a flashy dinner plate with silver trimming, full of Bison Droppings, garnished with rosemary leaves, you be sure to tell your server, "No thank you; I opt dining on finer cuisine—High Quality Cuisine!”.
You’re a High Quality Chick so it’s ONLY befitting for you to dine on High Quality Cuisine. As for the Bison Droppings………….….let the “desperate”, “low-standard having”, “will eat just about anything” flies dine on that!
Beautiful women………..finding their way back.
' Bison Droppings' , for the sake of this write up, will be used in reference to nonsense; foolishness; "that don't make one ounce of sense"; "something don't sound right", "I must look like a fool to you", gibberish that people will try to feed you and expect you to accept. 'Bison Droppings' include but are not limited to: lies, empty promises, disappearing acts without an ability to account for time, cheating, evasiveness, loving and enjoying your body but neglecting and refusing to appreciate your mind and your spirit, manipulating your emotions purely for personal entertainment and ego boosting, procrastinating on commitments, abuse (both physical and emotional), and taking you for granted.
You deserve to be fed better! We deserve to be fed better! We have to fearlessly and without apologies DEMAND to be fed with higher quality! Higher Quality Cuisine is loaded with honesty, respect, integrity, patience, balance, and love in practice--not just theory. We were not beautifully made and graciously deposited in the land of milk and honey to consume droppings that have fallen out of some creature’s you know what. So the next time you're brought a flashy dinner plate with silver trimming, full of Bison Droppings, garnished with rosemary leaves, you be sure to tell your server, "No thank you; I opt dining on finer cuisine—High Quality Cuisine!”.
You’re a High Quality Chick so it’s ONLY befitting for you to dine on High Quality Cuisine. As for the Bison Droppings………….….let the “desperate”, “low-standard having”, “will eat just about anything” flies dine on that!
Beautiful women………..finding their way back.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
My First True Love
When I think of my first true love so many adjectives come to mind: hilarious, loving, caring, chivalrous, charming, selfless, honest, reliable, generous, doting….. supportive. I never had to wonder or question what I meant to my first true love when I was with him. He always made me feel so special, so loved, and so wanted with his sweet words of encouragement and affectionate gestures. I never had to chase my first love for quality time because he was never to busy for me. He'd prepare special dinners (split pea soup and hot dogs--less than gourmet but no less special) for me despite being exhausted from a hard day of work. I never had to wonder if my first true love really loved me for he showed me daily with his actions: always making sure I had a few dollars in my pocket, not allowing anybody to mistreat/disrespect me, being my biggest cheerleader; my biggest fan.
My first true love was so giving and the amazing part about it is he never desired anything in return from me. He was perfectly content with pouring his everything--love, patience, time, care--into me without receiving anything in return. And the sad thing about it is, even if I tried a million times over, I'd never be able to fully reciprocate all that he gave back to him. I feel so blessed to have experienced this type of love; other loves have stepped up to the plate and tried, at best, to match my first true love experience. However, they've all fallen short and in come cases extremely short. Maybe they're right when they say.............".you only get one true love".
My first true love had a way of making others non-factors. He made a little brown girl from the East Side of Buffalo, NY feel like a Princess amongst the royals of royalty. How can this type of love ever be duplicated I wonder? My first true love wasn't just a man…………….he was a champion. My Champion!
Happy Father's Day to my First True Love--my Dad!
My first true love was so giving and the amazing part about it is he never desired anything in return from me. He was perfectly content with pouring his everything--love, patience, time, care--into me without receiving anything in return. And the sad thing about it is, even if I tried a million times over, I'd never be able to fully reciprocate all that he gave back to him. I feel so blessed to have experienced this type of love; other loves have stepped up to the plate and tried, at best, to match my first true love experience. However, they've all fallen short and in come cases extremely short. Maybe they're right when they say.............".you only get one true love".
My first true love had a way of making others non-factors. He made a little brown girl from the East Side of Buffalo, NY feel like a Princess amongst the royals of royalty. How can this type of love ever be duplicated I wonder? My first true love wasn't just a man…………….he was a champion. My Champion!
Happy Father's Day to my First True Love--my Dad!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Love And Haircuts
As I was sitting in the Hair Cuttery PATIENTLY waiting and waiting and waiting and still waiting to have my hair cut and styled this afternoon, a thought ran across my mind: waiting for a great haircut has to be a lot like waiting for a great love. I was extremely annoyed because I was hoping I could get in and out rather quickly. But just like finding that great love rather quickly, rather easily, nine point five times out of ten won't happen.........I was out of luck. As I waited and started to think (on the surface), 'I should just leave; to hell with this waiting crap', the thought of walking out of The Hair Cuttery and starting my much anticipated “Let’s Get It In” weekend--movies and drinks on the harbor for Ladies' Night on Friday, Cook Out and Surprise Birthday Party (double booked loving it) on Saturday, and Brunch with the ladies at a new restaurant I'm SO looking forward to testing or should I say tasting on Sunday—-with my hair cut and styled JUST right, held me hostage up in there! I exercised patience that I thought I ran out of HOURS ago; I was hopeful that I was making the right decision; I tuned into my intuition which told me "just wait a little longer, and a little longer, and a little longer because it will absolutely be worth it”; I spent money that I've worked extremely hard for to support my dream of having a banging hair cut; I became more and more frustrated by the second but I suppressed those selfish thoughts, once again, in the name of my dream. So as I was sitting there, still waiting for the next available stylist, I couldn't stop thinking that this is EXACTLY how waiting for love--the right love-- must feel. And the truth of the matter is that for 99.9% of us won't find that great love without some patience, without some understanding, without some willingness to compromise, without ignored feelings of wanting to give up, without some feelings of frustration, without using your intuition as a guide, without being selfless at times (we can't be too selfless unless we don't mind becoming empty/hollow shells of people). So with all that said, what keeps us in the Game of Love? The same thing that kept me in that waiting chair much longer than I wanted to be kept……………… Faith! And a desire to not allow our dream---meeting someone amazing; someone who truly adores us; someone who dotes on us and consistently demonstrates his love; someone who is honest and genuine; someone we can connect, grow, and laugh with—dry up like a raisin in the sun.
P.S. My hair looks amazing! It was ABSOLUTELY worth the wait.
P.S. My hair looks amazing! It was ABSOLUTELY worth the wait.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Love And Basketball
Basketball happens to be my most favorite sport of all time! I fell in love with the sport shortly after being introduced to it during my high school years. I was a proud ‘Lady Charger’ my entire high school career. In my fantasy, I’d liken myself to D. Wade; in reality……….my skills were (and probably still are) more like the player who comes into the game when his/her team is up by 20 points with approximately 10 seconds left on the game clock. Nonetheless, this sport will always have my heart. And this is probably why I find myself comparing love/relationships to my beloved Basketball.
In the game of Love (and yes Love is absolutely a game; filled with rules, effective plays, ineffective plays, mentor players, fouls, techs, scores, bs calls, fast breaks, weak defense, heartbreak/defeat, victories, over time, clutch shooting, upsets, and more) sometimes we win; sometimes we lose; sometimes we’re traded for a better fit. When we win at Love, it feels great! We give our all; we devote time and dedication; we keep the lines of communication working smoothly with our teammate and more. And as a result, we walk away with the championship trophy and the championship ring—a healthy and happy relationship.
When we lose at Love it sucks (at first)! You give it all you have. You regroup, rearrange, and revise for more effective communication and compromising strategies in an effort to secure more wins. You don’t give up; you are so dedicated to your team; you fight so hard—with your patience, love, and sacrifices—to secure the win. But time is of the essence. And there’s the buzzer, indicating that the game is over and you’ve just loss (communication break down, infidelity, feeling underappreciated, break up. divorce). You’re hurt, disappointed, angry, and even a little (naw…… A LOT) bitter……..because in your opinion, there was absolutely nothing more you could have possibly given or possibly done to change the outcome. The only thing left to do now is wash that funky jersey, use the lessons of this failed season as tools, and start prepping for a more successful season in the future.
Being traded kinda sucks too; but ironically it always works out for the best. You were on a team with a quality player. You were a quality player. But for some odd reason…..your team lacked a cohesiveness needed to make it far in the game. And as a result, you both had to go in different directions. It takes a moment to gel with your new squad but in the end it works out in your favor (think of Miami Heat earlier this season). You’re doing well now; plus there aren’t any ill feelings for your former teammate who happens to be performing much better with his new squad as well.
Love has the same redeeming quality as Basketball. There’s always another game to play; another season to look forward to; another opportunity to try, try, and try again for more successful results. So don’t hang your jerseys up just yet. Keep doing what’s needed—whether that be maintaining, rearranging, team changing, etc. Keep chasing that ring; that championship ring—a happy and healthy relationship.
Beautiful women………………………………….finding their way back!
In the game of Love (and yes Love is absolutely a game; filled with rules, effective plays, ineffective plays, mentor players, fouls, techs, scores, bs calls, fast breaks, weak defense, heartbreak/defeat, victories, over time, clutch shooting, upsets, and more) sometimes we win; sometimes we lose; sometimes we’re traded for a better fit. When we win at Love, it feels great! We give our all; we devote time and dedication; we keep the lines of communication working smoothly with our teammate and more. And as a result, we walk away with the championship trophy and the championship ring—a healthy and happy relationship.
When we lose at Love it sucks (at first)! You give it all you have. You regroup, rearrange, and revise for more effective communication and compromising strategies in an effort to secure more wins. You don’t give up; you are so dedicated to your team; you fight so hard—with your patience, love, and sacrifices—to secure the win. But time is of the essence. And there’s the buzzer, indicating that the game is over and you’ve just loss (communication break down, infidelity, feeling underappreciated, break up. divorce). You’re hurt, disappointed, angry, and even a little (naw…… A LOT) bitter……..because in your opinion, there was absolutely nothing more you could have possibly given or possibly done to change the outcome. The only thing left to do now is wash that funky jersey, use the lessons of this failed season as tools, and start prepping for a more successful season in the future.
Being traded kinda sucks too; but ironically it always works out for the best. You were on a team with a quality player. You were a quality player. But for some odd reason…..your team lacked a cohesiveness needed to make it far in the game. And as a result, you both had to go in different directions. It takes a moment to gel with your new squad but in the end it works out in your favor (think of Miami Heat earlier this season). You’re doing well now; plus there aren’t any ill feelings for your former teammate who happens to be performing much better with his new squad as well.
Love has the same redeeming quality as Basketball. There’s always another game to play; another season to look forward to; another opportunity to try, try, and try again for more successful results. So don’t hang your jerseys up just yet. Keep doing what’s needed—whether that be maintaining, rearranging, team changing, etc. Keep chasing that ring; that championship ring—a happy and healthy relationship.
Beautiful women………………………………….finding their way back!
Friday, June 3, 2011
Keep What Is Worth Keeping And With A Breath Of Kindness,,,,,,,,,Blow The Rest Away!
"Keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away."
We seldomly “blow the rest away” and especially with a breath of kindness. Instead, we—and when I say we, I’m referring to any and everyone who has been hurt by love—opt to hold on to past hurts, pressing the replay button so ‘Our Story Of Hurt’ can play over and over and over again in our minds. We allow our past hurts to become our identity; to define us; to cripple us. But………… when I think deeply about it I realize..... I don’t want the actions of someone who suffers from M.A.R( Mind Ain't Right) to define me! Who falls in the M.A.R. category? Anybody who doesn’t have the good sense to treat you; respect you; adore you; and appreciate you like the beautiful woman you were born being (accepting mistreatment makes you a M.A.R. sufferer as well). Yes, your past or present boo may have treated you in a manner that was crap; but that doesn’t make you crap! You may have felt like you were being dragged through slop by the way he treated or tried to treat you; but that doesn’t make you slop! He neglected to put you on a pedestal but that doesn’t mean you’re not pedestal worthy! How others have treated you in the past does not define you. Now how you treat yourself…………….that’s a different story.
Every time your mind takes you back to a past hurt or disappointment press the STOP button; better yet—how about the eject button? Let’s start fresh with a new movie, void of characters of suffer from that Mind Ain’t Right disease.
Beautiful women………………………………….finding their way back!
We seldomly “blow the rest away” and especially with a breath of kindness. Instead, we—and when I say we, I’m referring to any and everyone who has been hurt by love—opt to hold on to past hurts, pressing the replay button so ‘Our Story Of Hurt’ can play over and over and over again in our minds. We allow our past hurts to become our identity; to define us; to cripple us. But………… when I think deeply about it I realize..... I don’t want the actions of someone who suffers from M.A.R( Mind Ain't Right) to define me! Who falls in the M.A.R. category? Anybody who doesn’t have the good sense to treat you; respect you; adore you; and appreciate you like the beautiful woman you were born being (accepting mistreatment makes you a M.A.R. sufferer as well). Yes, your past or present boo may have treated you in a manner that was crap; but that doesn’t make you crap! You may have felt like you were being dragged through slop by the way he treated or tried to treat you; but that doesn’t make you slop! He neglected to put you on a pedestal but that doesn’t mean you’re not pedestal worthy! How others have treated you in the past does not define you. Now how you treat yourself…………….that’s a different story.
Every time your mind takes you back to a past hurt or disappointment press the STOP button; better yet—how about the eject button? Let’s start fresh with a new movie, void of characters of suffer from that Mind Ain’t Right disease.
Beautiful women………………………………….finding their way back!
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